So….This in my first attempt at
actually going through the processes of writing a short story. I was and still
am a bit apprehensive about writing the short story for reasons I do not know. I
know what I want to write about, but not necessarily how I want to write it. I also
will be using my poetic license.
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
By: Jeanne Augustin
I always wondered what it would be like if I was ‘fat’, ‘ugly’, ‘skanky’
and ‘freaky’…’unpopular’. What it would be like to be tormented by skinny, rich,
little bitches who apparently had everything and thought they knew it all- and
thought that the world revolved around them; and was about them. Bitches like
myself. What it would be like to hate
going to school, to hate the reflection looking back at me at the mirror. To hate
my parents for making a freak and for loving a freak. To hate myself. I am pretty sure that Susan hated me. After
all, my friends and I were her reasons for hating herself and her life. And we
made sure that she knew that her life wasn’t worth a dime. But little do you
know sweet Susan, how much happier you are than me. That car that you see me
driving, these fancy clothes and shoes you see me wearing, my friends, the
parties, the money, the rude words flowing out from my mouth at you, sweet
Susan, are nothing but a desperate cry for help. I wish that you would see ME
Susan. Help me.
Finally i have been waiting to read this. Great work! I could actually hear you crying out to Susan during my reading.
ReplyDeleteThanks Georgise. I'm glad you said this because that was what I was hoping to do.
DeleteGood job carry on to the next paragraph. The main character seems rather interesting. I put a face to her.
ReplyDeleteWOW ok lol. Does the character remind you of someone in particular?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE IT!!! I love the fact that this story is a start which can lead to a variety of endings. One might say it's predictable but the way you crafted it makes the audience wonder how Susan will respond to such treatment and the impact it will have on the narrator....
ReplyDeleteGOOD JOB JEANNE :) KEEP WORKING
I really like the twist that you brought with the characters, it made the story very interesting. Also with the use of the imaginative questions to the beginning made me imagine if I had those features as well. If this was the intended outcome then, it was successful.The only bad thing for me is that you drew me into the story and left me hanging since it was not complete because I was eager to see how your story was going to unfold.( good technique to keep the reader wanting to read more; thumbs up)Cant hardly wait to see how this interesting story unfolds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh wow!!! I must say while reading, the word "bitch" caught my attention and I had to re-read to ensure that that was exactly what I read. Then the ideas and the emotions captured my attention and my amazement. I could imagine how she feels and the imagery created made me feel pity and a bit of connection to her. Great work Jeanne!!
ReplyDeleteOOHH!! I really like this. It reminded me of the two characters in Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood : Elaine and Carol. The desperate self who is calling out for help but puts on a huge facade. Nice.... Looking forward to the rest.
ReplyDelete